Real Run Report - Redmond Watershed Preserve

Lately we at Real Running have been branching out and trying some new running routes and locales. This weekend, we visited the Redmond Watershed Preserve. Here, in what will probably NOT become a regular feature of Real Running, is a first-hand, biased, and unreliable review.

To get to the Redmond Watershed Preserve, simply follow the parade of late-model SUVs east from Seattle. Watch for a break in the subdivisions on the left. You will see a stand of trees defying the laws of real estate expansion and golf course development. This is the Redmond Watershed Preserve.

I kid. We love you, Redmond. Clean streets, wide sidewalks, nicely maintained signs confirming that those cottonwoods and alder trees are indeed part of a "natural space." What's not to love?

On paper (meaning the Internet) the Redmond Watershed Preserve looks something like paradise. It is a protected natural space amidst suburban sprawl, golf courses, and shopping centers. Over five miles of maintained trails wind through the forest from a tidy parking area. 

The bathrooms are clean.

The brochure is very professionally produced.

It's all good at the Redmond Watershed Preserve. Which is probably why I didn't enjoy it much.

After parking near the restrooms, I was greeted by two rather permanent looking signs at the trailhead:

WARNING: CAR PROWL AREA

and

WARNING: BLACK BEAR SIGHTED IN AREA

I'm uncertain if the bear is responsible for the car prowling, but I think it is implied. I glanced back at my unlocked car with my lunch on the front seat and decided the bear could have it if he wanted it badly enough. Off I went.

From the parking lot you quickly cross a power line right of way trail before being sent back into the woods. Here there are more signs. 

MITIGATION AREA: DO NOT MOW.

Okey dokey. I wasn't planning on doing any mowing anyway, but good to know the rules. I continued.

The trails in the Watershed are wide and flat. The surface throughout is mostly hard soil and gravel. The trails roll a bit, but there is nothing anyone would consider a climb anywhere I could find. Every trail junction has a bench and a sign with a map. A few trails allow bikes, horses, and hikers. Some are for hikers only. Giant gates guard these pedestrian-only trails, so you feel pretty safe inside the barriers.

Not the Actual Bear

I wonder if the bear can go wherever he wants? Are there bear-only trails?

As I came around corner after about 2 miles of running, a 30-something year old couple was slowly walking hand-in-hand and enjoying their Sunday morning. Cute. I let them know I was coming up behind them with my usual "coming up behind you" call. Nothing.

"Behind you." I repeated.

"Trail!" I tried.

Nothing.

So it happened that I was about three strides behind them and one of my footfalls somehow registered where my voice didn't. Young man spun around.

"Oh my god! I thought you were a bear!"

Really?  "Nope. Not a bear. Thanks." Off I went.

Listen folks, I 100% believe that there are black bears around Redmond. This little preserved chunk of wilderness used to be actual wilderness. Before those dudes invented personal computing in their garage, this whole place was rural. Your subdivision is carved out of a bear's backyard. But come on. No bear is menacingly tromping around the well-manicured trails of the Redmond Watershed Preserve at 10:30 on a Sunday morning while a few dozen people recreate instead of going to church. Whatever bear was spotted is trying like hell to figure out how he got marooned there while his friends are up in the mountains enjoying the last remnants of winter. At least we know the warning sign worked: people were afraid of the bear*.

And I didn't see anyone mowing anything.

Another mile or so ticked by and I came upon my first group of equestrians. I've never ridden a horse. But I think I would want to have more than 5 miles of trail available to me if I did. I imagine these riders getting up early, pulling the horse trailer around to wherever they keep their horses, loading the trailer, packing up their saddles and whatnot, driving to the Watershed, unloading their horses, getting geared up, checking the bear status, locking their trucks, and setting off into the woods. Several minutes later they are back at the trailhead. Good times. Nothing against horseback riding. Every one of them I encountered was friendly and smiling. 

Equestrian Group #1 commented on my orange shirt. "No one will mistake you for a bear in that shirt!"

You wouldn't think so, but funny story...

Next, another sign:

STAY ON TRAILS

Ok. I'll do that. The nettles and underbrush don't look tempting anyway.

Then another: 

PACK IT IN, PACK IT OUT

Ok. I can do that, too. Especially since I didn't bring anything with me. For the record, though, the teenage hooligan in me wants to litter every time I see one of those signs.

And this is when things got really weird. As I made the last turn onto something called the "Trillium" trail, a man and a woman were apparently working on something up ahead. He had a pickaxe and she a flat-nosed shovel. They were...what were they doing? 

As I passed them, I watched as he pried a stone out of the trail bed and tossed it into the underbrush. They were de-rocking the trail? What?

Sure enough, for the next 100 yards or so, there were dozens of little potholes in the trail where they had removed an offending rock. I've been thinking about this ever since and I still don't get it. Rocks and roots are part of the trail, no? Is the goal a perfectly manicured trail surface? Was the plan to back-fill the craters they had just made? I'm still baffled by this and find myself wishing I had stopped to ask them what the plan was and what on authority they were "beautifying" the trails. Is this some sort of horse-related accommodation? 

Like all good loops should, mine ended where it started. I thought about heading back out for another five miles, but I wanted to make sure my car hadn't been prowled by a bear. So I used the tidy bathroom and ate my lunch before heading out to get on with my day. 

5.3 miles at somewhere near 9 minutes per mile. A respectable outing.

I didn't say it wasn't pretty...

The whole experience is just so...sanitized. It's a beautiful place. Local residents are lucky to have it. I wish we had more open spaces like it near the city that were devoted to human-powered forays into the woods. I guess I just like my walks in the woods to me a little less managed. I like to be able to go more than half a mile without a sign telling what not to do. 

So in summary: beautiful trails, nice idea, great facility, and boring. If you're out driving to go for a run anyway, keep going east.

One of my readers pointed out one way to make the Watershed more interesting:

Try the Cascade Running Club Watershed 12 Hour Race to spice it up a bit. I'm seriously considering it.

*And I suppose the City of Redmond or King County or whoever is in charge around here is hereby not responsible if said bear killed someone. 

Talk About the Weather

You are Here

Running in the Northwest means running in weather. Part of what is unique (and uniquely frustrating) about living in the return address corner of the country is that we get just about every form of weather the jet stream can throw at us. More unique is that our position at the edge of the world makes weather forecasting more difficult here than just about anywhere in the country. So while we wait for forecasting science to catch up with our reality (and for NOAA to build radar stations on the coast) the Northwest runner simply has to be prepared for anything.

As I write this, it is about 30 degrees outside. But the air is still and dry. Great running weather, right? Sure is if you prepare for it correctly, which I never manage to do. I always over-dress for the cold, and then after 2 miles I’m sweating through my clothes, which of course makes me colder as the sweat evaporates and the cold wind cuts into my skin. You’d think I’d learn…

Beat cold weather by protecting your digits and your skull, not by bulking up. If your torso and your extremities are warm, you’re fine. Every fall, I buy a dozen or so pairs of cheap cotton gloves at the local dollar store. I also keep on hand a collection of ugly but warm hats that I won’t cry about losing. After a mile or two, I can peel off the gloves and the hat, cram them into my pockets and keep going. On an out and back route, I stash them behind a sign post or something and try to remember to grab them on the way back.

But cold isn’t the main concern for most Northwest runners (except those east of the Cascades). If you are going to log any serious miles or be at all consistent as a runner around here, you had better get used to going out in weather that keeps fishermen inside.

Really, running in the rain isn’t that bad so long as you’re prepared for it. Most runners, as in the cold, overdress for rain. Too many runners see the rain and think they have to hide themselves from it. It’s just water! Unless it’s truly cold out, which it rarely is during rainy weather, let your skin do its thing. Your epidermis is waterproof, you know. No tights in the rain. Rock those bare legs. And don’t do too much layering. You’ll come back soaked through to the skin, but it won’t be rain water. That rain slicker you’re wearing keeps the water out, but it also keeps the sweat in. Rainy weather is time for the compression tops and mid-weight technical clothing. Layers just soak up water and make you colder. The main concern in wet weather is chaffing. Wet socks lead to blisters. Wet shirts lead to the dreaded bleeding nipples. Wet shorts…well. You get the point. Your best defense is lubrication. Be generous with the Body Glide in wet weather. Trust me.

It’s true that if you run west of the mountains, you’re going to get wet. Sorry. But you can minimize your exposure if you have a little flexibility of schedule and an internet connection. While the long and medium range forecasts here are frustratingly vague, local weather radar is spot-on accurate and darn useful. Sure, there’s a 100% chance of rain today, but that doesn’t mean it will rain all day in your neighborhood. In fact, I can almost guarantee that it won’t.

By checking the live weather radar, you can watch the heavy rain move (usually) from south to north and either get out before it hits you or after it has passed. A lot of times there is a nice clearing out after heavy downpours that make for dry running and excellent puddle stomping.

The base source for weather information, NOAA, has a good live radar at this link:
http://radar.weather.gov/radar.php?rid=ATX

Or try the Intellicast radar site:
http://www.intellicast.com/National/Radar/Metro.aspx?location=USWA0395

For more excellent reading about Northwest weather, there is no better source than Cliff Mass, the undisputed leader in Northwest meteorology. His book, The Weather of the Pacific Northwest will teach you how to watch the weather like never before. And his blog, cleverly titled “Cliff Mass Weather Blog” is a great daily read. http://cliffmass.blogspot.com/

In the end, you’re a Northwest Runner. And that means getting out there in the weather. Run hard. Have fun. Don't forget to tip your columnist.

This column appears in the February 2011 issue of Northwest Runner Magazine

Running Resolutions

What better way to start the new year of Real Running than with some New Year’s resolutions. I’m not really one for resolutions since setting goals is the first step toward failure, but I admit that there is some allure to the idea of a fresh start for the new set of months. And since I am sure both of the readers of Real Running will be making resolutions for themselves this year, I figured we could help out.

Running Resolutions are a little different from your typical New Year’s Resolutions in that they don’t have anything to do with being a better person or making the world a better place or even really doing anything productive. It’s a good thing most runners are already good, kind people, because running is about as selfish an activity as there is.

Running Resolutions, unlike regular running goals, are measured over the course of a year. Theoretically, we will check in with our Running Resolutions next December and see how we did, but anyone who has ever been to the gym in March knows that most resolutions are really only good for a few months, tops.  But let’s think in terms of twelve months just to stay on topic.

The simplest type of Running Resolution is a mileage target. Be aggressive here. At the end of the year you can always remember a few long runs that you forgot to enter back in June to make your target. Like that 235 miler you did. Remember that? My static mileage goal every year is an even thousand. A thousand mile year is a nice milestone and it is a challenge for regular schlubs like me with jobs and whatnot. Five hundred miles is totally reasonable for a new runner. If you stay healthy and run a little each week, you can do it. You can log your miles however you want, but I let the satellite and Internet gods do it for me. Set your mileage goal for the year before moving on to the next paragraph. I’ll wait…

You should set other targets for the year as well. Set a goal for the number of races you will do. One race a month is attainable, no? How many marathons or half marathons can you squeeze in this year? For whatever reason, I’ve never run a 5k, so this year is my year! I figure this is an easy resolution to pick off in December 2011 if I need to.  Maybe 2011 is the year of the marathon for you. Go for it. Write it down.

And let’s not forget to have some fun. If you’re a pavement pounding runner, resolve to get into the woods and run on the dirt once in a while. Tired of lacing up those shoes? Vow to go barefoot for a few miles every week.

Of course, Running Resolutions, like their normal life counterparts, wouldn’t be resolutions if you couldn’t watch them fall apart in the weeks after the new year begins. So set some unrealistic goals that will let you feel a little bad about yourself as they pass you by. My favorite is the “run every day” goal. 

Yeah, right. I’m out of this one by January 3^rd.

Running Resolutions only work if you are held accountable. So post your list of goals for 2011 here or at our Facebook page. You are following our Facebook page, right? Just for kicks, I’ll be publicly logging my miles and other stats here in 2011 so you can watch me fall short of my goals and shame me into trying again in 2012.

Greg's Real Running Resolutions for 2011

• Run 1,000 miles in 12 months
• Run 3 marathons
• Attempt one Ultra Marathon
• Find an alternative to Powerade Zero, to which I am now addicted, and which cannot be good for me
• Foot commute once a week
• Enter at least one 5k. I don't know why.

Real Running’s Holiday Gift Guide

This Hat Keeps Me Warm on Long Runs in the Snow

The driving rain, dark mornings, and stores jammed with holiday kitsch tell me it’s time to start thinking about gifts for friends and family.  Real Running has you covered with the first ever Real Running Holiday Gift Guide.

Buying for runners is hard, in part because the big expense in running is shoes, and in part because runners really don’t need any of the stuff that is marketed to them. Heck, we barely even need shoes. Nonetheless, here are some tips that should help you navigate through your shopping experience.

Buying shoes is usually a bad move, since runners are very particular about what they put on their feet. Most of us are fiercely brand-loyal and have worked hard to find “our” shoe. One option is to sneak into the closet and steal product numbers and sizes and just buy another pair of the same shoes your runner already has. Another option is to add a different set of shoes to the quiver. For example, maybe your runner has been running off-road in her regular shoes? How about some trail shoes? Go to the local shop with the details of her regular shoes and get an equivalent fitting trail shoe, from the same brand, of course.

The real trick to gift-giving is to find something your runner doesn’t really need, but would think is really cool. Here are some ideas:

• Satellites. Is your runner still logging miles with his old Timex watch from 1992? This is cute and everything, but why not an upgrade to a watch that tracks time, miles, elevation, heart rate, course, laps, effort, and looks cool at the same time? Garmin and Suunto make some excellent options.
• Tunes. Sure, they make holsters for that old-school MP3 player your partner lugs around, and he can technically use that iPhone for tunes, but they make MP3 players now that are far better suited to running. Get an iPod from Apple with a personalized message engraved on it at Apple’s online store. Slick.
• Threads. Those nasty old race shirts from three years ago have to go. Most runners are too cheap to buy the nice stuff, but we wish we had it, for sure. This time of year, jackets and thermal gear is a nice option.  Or maybe some warm up clothes? Sweat pants and sweatshirts for before and after a workout are always a fine choice.
• Words and Data. Most Real Runners can read. And most of us would love a subscription to running and health magazines. Or sign your favorite runner up with an account at a site like MapMyRun.com or FavoriteRun.com where she can track workouts, get custom training plans, or create and share running routes.
• Vacation. Here’s how to go top-shelf this holiday season. Find a warm-weather race destination, get a hotel room, some plane tickets, and register your favorite runner for the race. Of course the bonus of this is that you get to go, too. Double bonus if you’re also a runner. There are races every weekend in places like Arizona, California, New Mexico, and Florida. Most of the big races have travel packages already put together for you.

Of course, not all gifts have to be big-ticket items. In no particular order, here are some inexpensive gifts all runners need more of:

•  Fuel. GU, PowerGel, or whatever your runner usually uses make for great little gifts. Don’t buy too much. Those things do expire. Don’t overlook hydration. Those drink mixes and electrolyte supplements are a welcome addition.
• Protection. BodyGlide. There’s never too much BodyGlide.
• Warmth. Cheap cotton gloves and hats (check your local dollar store) make great winter race day warmers that your runner won’t feel bad about leaving behind.

But clearly, the best thing you can do for the runners in your life is shake your head, smile, and wish them luck as they head out into the rain, wind, snow, and darkness this holiday season to feed their addiction to logging miles on foot. So might I suggest the old standby gift?

• Coupon Book of free passes from family events, household chores, and other obligations for running purposes. Make these in mileage denominations so your runner has to decide how to spend them. “Your mother is coming over? Here’s my 12-mile coupon. See you in two hours.”

Happy Holidays from all of us here at Real Running!

Have a great holiday gift idea? Share it here. 

The City of Seattle 26.2 Mile Love Fest. A Report.

I don’t know why I do it, but I continue to read the “comments” section of the local papers’ websites. I KNOW these are full of contrarian trolls for whom logic and reason aren’t requisite parts of discourse, but still I catch myself reading what people have to say about news, events, and issues.

So on Monday morning I opened up the Seattle Times story on the weekend’s marathon festivities to find complaints. People will complain about ANYTHING.

The 2010 edition of the Seattle Marathon had 3,000 or so runners attempt the full 26.2 miles, and another 12,000 running the 13.1. That’s roughly 15,000 people who paid entry fees, trained, and got outside on a chilly November morning. The event was a success by all accounts. So what could online trolls possibly complain about? I’ll paraphrase:

I live in Seattle and they closed some streets so I couldn’t drive my SUV three blocks to get beer and chips so I could watch the Seahawks game on television.

Why do they hold the marathon in November? It’s too cold and makes the city look stupid.

Marathon running is dangerous and should be banned.

What a waste of taxpayer money to have all of those roads closed for a few idiots. How much revenue do local merchants lose because those roads are closed?

Don’t bother to respond to these idiotic rants. Truth and logic don’t apply.

People will hate on anything. Stunning.

From my perspective, the Seattle Marathon seemed a smashing success this year. The weather was perfect for running, the expo was well-managed, the starting line was efficient, and the on-course support was as good as I’ve seen it for this race. Good job, Seattle. Let’s do it even better next year. I want to see some crowds out there.

Cap’n Ron and I laced ‘em up and ran the 26.2 this year. Here, in no particular order, are my observations of the run:

It was good to see Martin - my intrepid editor at Northwest Runner Magazine - during the expo. The December issue was flying out the door! Somehow Martin also managed to appear at the starting line, on I-90, in Seward Park, at every water station, at each street crossing, at the finish line, at Starbucks, in my living room, and on the Oprah show. Ok, he didn't do that. But I believe he could. It's like magic.

Even though I live less than 15 miles from the course, I chose to stay downtown this year at the host hotel. With the marathon in town and the busiest shopping weekend of the year on the calendar, downtown was a festive scene to be sure. Or it was just crowded. Whatever.

Every year I run the Seattle Marathon I forget that the start is uphill and that there is a sizeable hill in mile #2. Somehow I always remember a flat cruise down 5^th Avenue to the International District, but I know it isn’t true.

I didn’t see Elvis this year. But I heard Superman was there. And I know at least one guy was running not only barefoot, but also in his bathrobe. Doesn’t seem advisable.

I don’t know how many times I heard someone say, “Man that Kenyan is fast” in reference to the race leader and eventual winner. But I do know that he is from Ethiopia. Not all East African runners are Kenyan.

I’m not Kenyan.

When did swag bags become nothing more than recycle bin promotional materials for other races? Remember that one year at Halloween when the whole neighborhood seemed to be handing out raisins? That’s how race day goodie bags feel to me these days. Ooooooh, I got a glossy brochure for the Des Moines 5k and Turkey Trot in 2011!

Seriously. Can we get at least ONE cool thing in the goodie bag? Vancouver gives out nifty little cotton gloves. That’s something. I got a half ounce bottle of olive oil, for swag’s sake!

While I’m on the subject of the stuff we get for running these races, can we talk shirts? I’m a fan of the technical shirt that comes with the entry fee. I really am. BUT, I think there should be two different shirts. A full marathon and a half marathon. AND, I want finishers shirts! I don’t care if it’s just a Hanes Beefy T with “Finisher” printed on the back. And you should ONLY be able to get a finisher’s shirt by crossing the finish line. I should NOT be able to buy a finisher’s shirt at the expo before the race.

My favorite t-shirt sequence was a group of five runners I passed at mile 8. “I’m doing this for Greg!” “I’m running for Greg!” “26.2 miles in support of Greg!” I thought they were talking about me until I passed them and caught up with a guy wearing a shirt that said “I’m Greg.” Nice.

I spent the better part of a mile wondering how the course might change when the City of Seattle eventually bulldozes Memorial Stadium. I have a suggestion. Start and finish at Qwest or Safeco field and reverse the course. Up 5^th Avenue to Seattle Center, up Eastlake, across the University Bridge, back across the Montlake bridge, down Lake Washington Boulevard to Seward Park, back to I-90, across to Mercer Island, back across I-90 to the finish at the stadium of your choice. Feel free to point out the flaws in this plan if you like, but it’s flawless. In fact, let’s do it next year. I’d much rather have the big climbs in the first 13.1 and the downhill at the finish. Please. 

This course is deceptively hard. The official description is "moderately hilly." I guess that's true, if you compare it to climbing Rainier.

Thank you Marathon Planning People for the 8:15 start. It was nice to have daylight for the first mile.

I saw less carnage at this race than any other marathon I have done in the past. Though the poor woman suffering explosive diarrhea near Seward Park has my sympathy. Also, that was gross. Also also, there was a Honey Bucket 300 feet from where you stopped. Sorry.

Here are my splits. See if you spot anything notable: 8:23, 7:42, 7:52, 8:23, 8:02, 8:16, 8:54, 8:13, 8:01, 7:45, 7:48, 7:48, 7:48, 7:49, 7:59, 7:58, 8:08, 7:58, 8:15, 8:35, 8:46, 9:22, 9:22, 12:08, 11:40, 10:55, 11:09…You can add those up if you like, but I’ll save you the trouble: 3:50:10. Sigh. I would have loved a sub 3:40, and that was my “goal” going in, but honestly, once I started to feel things tweak and creak and grown a little bit, I immediately backed off. I wanted to finish without injury. Success! That said, my first 20 miles were easily the strongest I have felt at the Seattle 26.2 mile jog-a-thon. Now I can get back to training for a race with fewer hills.

Somewhere on I-90 I ran into Owen, my ultra-marathoning tattoo artist. I caught up with him because he was taking it easy on Sunday. Why? Oh, no reason. Except that he had just run the Seattle Ghost Marathon the day before. What? Back-to-back 26.2 mile races? Both under 4 hours? Ugh. Some people are crazier than I am.

Oh, and Owen passed me at mile 23. Nice.

To the young lady who yelled at me and used a word that would cost a dollar in the swear jar for walking at a water stop. Same to you. I took the last possible water cup and stayed to the side of the street. I walk for 5 seconds at every water stop to make sure I get a good drink. It’s not uncommon. Maybe if you weren’t tailgating me in the first place it wouldn’t have been such a problem for you? Sheesh.

Including entry fees, hotel stays, meals, and other race day incidental costs, I figure a major marathon costs most runners upwards of $300. That’s a lot of coin to torture yourself for 4 hours. Where else would you be willing to spend $300 for a t-shirt and a week’s worth of aching muscles and blistered feet? The only more painful way to spend $300 without getting anything of value in return is taking the kids to a Mariners game. ZING!

In all, another successful race outing. My family still thinks I’m nuts, and The Colleague was at yet another finish line to watch a shell of my usual self limp across the timing mat. I’m scouring the calendar for the next one. Any suggestions for a late winter ‘thon?

Keep it real out there.

Technology Has Taken Over

In planning a route for one of my last long training runs before the Seattle 26.2, I stumbled across this little "feature" of MapMyRun:



Have we gone a little too far yet? I barely need to do the run.

The Forecast

Those who know things about stuff predict that La Nina will bring us in the Northwest a worse than normal winter. This apparently means more high winds, more rain, more snow, more power outages, and generally speaking, crappy running weather. Never mind that long term weather prediction on the west coast is about as much science as it is voodoo, if the predictions come true, we at Real Running will be spending our massive paychecks on frequent flights to Southern California.

This past week has been a decent preview of what is predicted to land on the Pacific Coast this winter. Colder than normal temperatures, 30 mph winds, sideways rain, and power outages scattered around Puget Sound. At least Lake Washington doesn't have the 30 foot waves the coast was bashed with all week. Here, from Cliff Mass's wonderful weather blog is an image of the latest storm getting set to attack us:

Does this look to anyone else like a giant fist getting set to smack the Northwest?

But still we run. My latest 6 miler was spent route-finding around the tallest buildings and on the leeward side of hills in our neighborhood just to get some relief from the gusts of wind

Without a Pumpkin, It Would Just Be Streaking

This Halloween, why not take off your clothes, shove your head in a hollowed out pumpkin with eye holes cut in it, and run in the 4^th Annual Fremont Naked Pumpkin Run? Why not?

I have lived in this area most of my life, and it gives me such pleasure that we will have communities like Fremont that retain some good old fashioned quirk and humor. Even after the hideously gentrified new construction took over most of Fremont from the Aurora Bridge to Ballard, the community has held onto the Briefcase Relay, the Solstice Parade, and yes, the Naked Pumpkin Run.

There is nothing more wholesome than running naked through the streets of Fremont. Bring the kids.*

Pain Killers Can Kill You

I consulted the official physician of Real Running after seeing an article on the potential harm of using non-steroidal-anti-inflammatory-drugs (NSAIDs) in combination with vigorous dehydrating exercise like running. Apparently, the use of these drugs (ibuprofen is the most common) can reduce the kidneys’ ability to process fluids properly. In extreme cases this can result in renal failure. This is, according to our staff physician (who just happens to be the father of one of the Real Running staff and also a kidney specialist) called “analgesic abuse nephropathy.” I don’t care what that actually means, it sounds bad and I don’t want it.

Taking a handful of Advil before a marathon in anticipation of sore joints and muscles, then, is officially out of style. We don’t want any Real Runners dying from kidney failure. In fact, can we just agree that all Real Runners will die of natural causes in their late 80s, in full possession of their minds, surrounded by fulfilled family and friends? Deal.

I also called my personal physician, Dr. Hilarious, about this one, because kidney issues aside, I am skeptical about the effectiveness of anti-inflammatory drugs in a preventative manner. He says that they can work this way, but are less effective than in treating an already suffered injury. So taking your Advil before the race is not only deadly, but of questionable effect anyway. Just suck down your GU packets and leave it at that.

Speaking of GU…

Until a specific company steps up and sponsors the Real Running staff with cases of energy gels in exchange for frequent mentions on this blog, we will continue to be equal-opportunity product promoters.

On my last long run with Cap’n Ron (20 miles from Ballard to the UW and back through South Lake Union) I tested a few different brands of energy gels. This is a delicate science. You have to balance taste, consistency, and nutritional intake as well as take into account the gel’s effect on your system. When you are working as hard as runners work, your stomach doesn’t really want anything in there, so finding something that it will happily accept and digest is indeed a trick. I have in the past been a fan of the Vanilla Bean GU, mostly because its flavor reminded me of eating spoonfuls of vanilla frosting from the little jar in the fridge when I was a kid.

But I prepped for this latest run too late, and the only energy I could find was something called Accel Gel.

When I hit a little wall an hour into the run, I ate one of my three Accel’s. Taste was good, consistency was good, stomach seemed ok. And in about 5 minutes I actually felt a little kick. The stuff works!

At mile 16, when I wanted to carjack a Prius to drive my butt to my own car in Ballard, I took another. Within a half mile I had a little energy and momentum to kick to the finish. The stuff works!

If you haven’t experienced it yet, getting your body to that point of complete energy depletion, to where it is starting to cannibalize your muscles, your liver, and your fat stores is almost a surreal experience. Your reserves are so low, and the fuel your body is trying to burn is so inefficient, that the infusion of pure carbohydrates and sugar is like the reverse of the anesthesia you get when they put you under for surgery. You can feel it wash over your body. You can feel it take effect.

This is a good and a bad thing. It’s good because we know the 150 calorie bomb in those little squeeze packets works! It’s bad because if you get that low in fuel, you are doing something wrong. Especially in a race, you have to fuel before you need it. Just like you need to hydrate before you’re thirsty, you have to fuel before you crash. That GU or Accel or PowerGel, or whatever is more effective if it isn’t bringing you back from the dead. Imagine a car that is standing still and needs to get up to 60 miles per hour. Now imagine a car already going 45 miles per hour. Which takes more fuel to get up to 60? Hmmmm?

Imperfect analogy, but you get the point.

For those of you training for a marathon, practice your hydration and fueling on your long runs. I have found that a drink every two miles and an every gel every 6 miles is perfect for me. Happily, most marathons try to have support stations every 2 miles or so.  

*Editorial Comment: The reason funny, quirky events like this aren’t as common as they should be is that people complain about the effect on kids or wholesome family values. News flash: your kids know what naked bodies look like, and seeing a bunch of them in the streets with pumpkins covering their heads isn’t going to harm them in any way. Nor is it going to turn them into deviants. At most it will make them laugh. Get over yourself.